Choosing Presence Over Perfection (Week 4)

Many of us have spent the past month shopping, wrapping gifts, mailing packages, cooking, planning, and organizing to create a memorable holiday for our loved ones. As we finish checking off tasks from both our mental and physical “To Do” lists, why does discovering a recipe for something like a cheese ball stuffed bundt cake with hot pepper jelly, or peppermint chocolate-dipped Ritz crackers, suddenly make us eager to add these treats to our menus? And if Wal-Mart offers a last-minute deal—say, 25% off that cologne set you’ve been considering—doesn’t that seem like the perfect stocking stuffer for Christmas morning? Also, would Christmas feel complete without eggnog? Should we make sure to pick some up?

During the holidays, there comes a point when you realize you’ve done all you can—whether it’s when your budget runs out or last-minute shopping is no longer possible. By December 26th, you may regret not reaching “enough” sooner as you are tossing out leftover eggnog or saving an oversized cheeseball for New Year’s. Inevitably, that cheeseball won’t make it, as you’ll clear the fridge before New Year’s Eve to make room for new plans.  

Does any of this sound familiar? We’re taught to see the holidays as something to strive for, believing success means spending our time, money, energy, and emotions until we’re worn out. Remember, Christmas isn’t about proving your worth. Christmas does not require a performance. This season, I invite you to pause and step away from all the roles you feel you must play. Imagine feeling content with the holidays just as they are. What if, right now, things were already enough? Notice what happens in your body when you consider that—maybe your chest feels lighter, a bit of tension eases, or you sense relief. Often, your body will recognize “enough” before your mind does, which is why it’s so important to pause, breathe, and check in with yourself. Enough really is good enough, reasonable, and, most importantly, allowed.

Ask yourself: what would these final days leading up to the holiday look like if you simply chose to be present and enjoyed each moment as it came, without the extras and “just in case” purchases and planning? One of my favorite Christmas memories happened a few years ago when we invited my eighty-year-old mother-in-law to celebrate with us. On Christmas morning, we found ourselves in the kitchen drinking coffee. My husband spontaneously decided to make pancakes, and we all sat quietly eating together, appreciating one another’s company. It was a quiet breakfast—just an hour of calm. That simplicity was perfect, and afterward, I felt real enjoyment and gratitude for just being together. There was no need for effort—no elaborate cheeseball or peppermint chocolate Ritz crackers required. The moment just happened, and I was present to savor it—not to change or improve it. No work was needed. We will all have opportunities to experience moments like these this week; it’s up to us to pause and truly appreciate them.

Thank you for welcoming me into your celebrations this year. I hope you take a moment to recognize how truly wonderful you already are—no extravagant holiday production necessary to prove your worth. I wish you a holiday full of peace and presence!

Please refer to the Resource section for a brief exercise designed to help you identify and appreciate the concept of “enough” during this holiday season.